Aww, somebody else studied the French Revolution

Presenting, the Revolutionary Guillotine Cigar Cutter, or, the first thing on my Christmas wish list. Notice the tiny bucket for the heads. It's perfect for your desk or kitchen counter. The same website also offers a Richard the Lionheart Pewter Goblet, a Davinci Flying Machine, and an Equestrian Armour bookend. Why did I not take advantage of these fabulously elitist gifts when my Grandma tried to buy me bookends when I was sixteen? Why have I not memorized more quotes from the French Revolution? If I bought this little device, I would have to learn some for the purpose of role-playing. As Robbespierre, I think, once said, "Louis must die, so that the country can live," and, "Guillotine cutters will soon be available to the masses." The masses and, I would add, pompous, elitist-complex business folks I'd like to have a word with.