Crack raisins

I realized the extent of my addiction to Shopper's Drug Mart chocolate covered raisins today, when I rounded the corner of aisle 4 to find chocolate covered almonds and chocolate covered peanuts flanking a very empty row where my chocolate covered raisins should have been. This isn't possible, I thought, they must have some in the back. When I asked the young woman at the counter to check for me, her attitude was not, "Yes, miss, I shall check this instant" but rather, "who is this lady, and why do her chocolate raisins mean so much to her that she must have them right away?"

I was asking myself the same question.

I was asking myself, Laura, if you met yourself right now, what would you think of yourself? Do you realize that you spend as much money on chocolate covered raisins as some people spend on cigarettes? A pack a day my friends, that is what it's come to.

Chilling self-reflection aside, I did not get my raisins, and was forced to stop at Extra Foods, whose chocolate raisins are cheaper, but not as good. I am a connoisseur. Neither Safeway, nor Extra Foods, nor the organics brand, are as good as my Life brand chocolate raisins. Nothing will compare, so don't even try to convince me. It's like trying to convince someone addicted to Players to try Gauloise.

But I am willing to share - if you're a friend. Although before I pass the bag to you, I may pop a couple handfuls into my mouth and let them dissolve into a sugary mess while you do the talking. I want to feel the sugar buzz relaxing my nerves before we get any further.