High Caliber Shopping

Bet you wished you brought an extra bag.

According to an article printed in the Montreal Gazette Wednesday, a car dealership in Repentigny will throw in a $17,500 2009 Dodge Caliber for free if you buy a Dodge Ram, Dodge Durango, Chrysler Aspen or Jeep Commander.

The dealership's rationale? To get the gas guzzlers off the lot.

People supposedly consume less during crappy economic times, until they realize they can get twice the merchandise for the same price as before.

I can save $17,000!
But you're spending $17,000.
That's a 50% discount... or is 100%? Did you see that Cold War Bunker?
No.
They're selling it off for $500,000!

I hate to admit it, but I'm the same way. Last night I peered into a discount shop and saw a little 3-drawer wicker dresser for $4. I spent the rest of the walk home envisioning it in that giant plastic bag they gave me at the textile warehouse (where I bought multiple $1 toilet covers and a pillow) so I can lug it to Ottawa on Greyhound.

Right now I have a multicoloured plastic kid's dresser. I feel sheepish keeping any belongings in something that should contain crayons, paper, and Barbies.

The main problem is I have acquired a strangely huge assortment of meds, most of which I've thrown in there to keep them out of sight. Seriously. Name a symptom and I will cure you.

Despite being a mild hypochondriac, I am wary of taking pills. The result is that I have dozens of unopened bottles sent to me by my parents, and many more that rattle around in my purse and make me feel like a geriatric.

But all of this aside, getting a 2 for 1 vehicle is a pretty sweet deal. If you're buying a Durango anyway, why not wrap one under the Christmas tree for your bro or sis? You may need a lot more trees to offset emissions, but gas prices are at an environment-ignorable level, anyway.

When gas goes up to $1.30/L saving the coral reefs will come back into vogue.

But that probably won't happen until summer.