The victory music was weird

I was sitting in Jean Charest's hotel conference room, a media pass around my neck, staring at a 12-foot screen broadcasting various female reporters (I saw no male TV reporters the entire evening). I was plotting the moment I'd join the jostling scrum around Charest and brush against that dark silky suit - a moment that began 12 years ago.

As the night wore on, the 120 minutes of sleep I had carved out for myself the night before began to seem like not enough. My body temperature was dropping, and putting on my coat was like crawling into a sleeping bag. The scaffolding of lights above became a comforting mobile - the world spun and I cooed.

My comprehension was shot. I heard my savant colleague say "I hate winter! The gold. The giant goats. It's awful! I HATE it."

Election day was the coldest day of winter so far in Sherbrooke: -28 with wind chill. It was a humid cold that made leaving the building feel like walking through a cloud of caustic lye. That may have been why voting turnout was 20 per cent lower than last time.

I was sliding down my media chair, focussing on avoiding drool, when I roused myself. As much as I was a basket-case, I couldn't miss my big moment with Charest. No, this was the pinnacle of a long courting. When I was in grade six, his campaign office sent me a package of campaign materials for a school assignment.

I'm not sure who thought an 11-year-old girl Backstreet Boys fan would want a 5-foot poster headshot of Charest. Are those his pores? Eww. This was 1997, when Charest was the leader of the Progressive Conservatives, and thus getting used to people scrutinizing him in detail. But still.

Anyway, I thought the poster was funny and put it up on my wall. This may be one of the reasons I had few friends that year. Out of the four girls in my class, at least two of them saw my poster of Charest, which I would introduce to house guests as a good friend. Here is my good friend, Charest. He's a poster boy. Look at his grey curly locks... you want to know which lock of hair is my favourite?

It was the beginning of my fascination with Charest's dual-sided nature - the egotistical leader vs. the shy and uncomfortable man.

He finally arrived at the hotel, elected for the 3rd consecutive time. I watched the TV cameras beam his entrance onto the screens - he was surrounded by a crowd that filled only half of the ballroom. I felt bad for him. A third of the attendees were media. I stood up on the media platform with one foot on a chair, but still could see nothing. The crowd morphed and ebbed like a cat stuck in a burlap sack. The cat was Charest. Let me out, he surely screamed to deaf ears. Let me in! I yelled on the fringes.

I thought about This Hour Has 22 Minutes comedian Geri Hall and her press conference hijinks with Stephen Harper that landed her a one-on-one interview. "I love you!" she screamed, as she was escorted out. "I want to love you!"

Yes, little did Charest's campaign office know that 12 years later, that girl would be at his campaign HQ with a media pass and veiled intentions.

Unfortunately for me, I didn't have any huge pieces of TV equipment to bully my way through the scrum. I watched in admiration as those with cameras shoved their way in like hogs at a watering hole.

Laissez-faire, I said, giving up for the moment. Laissez-faire. (What I should have said what laisse-faire, not the economic plan that Charest has been using to gain popularity. But I thought his ears might perk up).

I sat down and folded my hands. Charest will come to me, I decided.

After his speech, he walked over and stood next to the media pen for a live beaming to Montreal. The cameras were practically on the ground so he had to look down, exacerbating his double chin, and causing me grief. My savant colleague grabbed my camera and commanded I stand in line with Charest. Move back! she said.

Could this photo be any more beautiful? Charest's hands are blurred because he was signing "I love you" to me peripherally.

If only I still had that poster. What part of his face would he have signed?