Thursday, January 31, 2008

Sturm und Drang

Last year, meat packers huddled into their -25 degree unloading truck to warm up from the -50ish temperatures outside.

This year, it looks as though meat packing trucks will continue to be a waiting spot of choice for those delivering leg of lamb or those awaiting the bus. Right now, my freezer at home feels like a fresh ocean breeze, minus the salt, while opening the front door is like popping a warm balloon - the warm air shoots out with hardly a breeep.

One thing I dislike is all the lame jokes about it being colder than Siberia. If you want to go on a warmer vacation - why not choose Siberia? Ho, ho, ho. Because, idiot, it's bloody cold there too. Besides, why must Siberia always be worse than everywhere else? Give it a break.

Fun things start happening at - 51. For example, outside you hear strange humming/whistling noises. If you want to see a pop can explode - put it on your lawn. If your back is sore, lean against any outside wall or window. For real fun, add food coloring to hot water, and throw the water into the air to watch it evaporate instantly in a mini fireworks display.

It's a miracle of science and technology we are able to survive here. Thank you science.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Icharus got too close to the enamel

Toothbrushes have come a long way since the Chinese chewing sticks used in 1600 AD and the arctic swine bristle toothbrushes manufactured in 19th century England. Today, few people understand the progress of oral hygiene better than Dr. Gerry Uswak and Dr. Kunio Komiyama, the University of Saskatchewan researchers developing a titanium and solar-powered toothbrush.

The new appliance would not require toothpaste, but it would need about as much light as a solar calculator, and would theoretically work better than an ordinary toothbrush.

Backed by the Japanese company Shiken Co. Ltd., Dr. Komiyama’s earlier research showed that titanium dioxide breaks down bacteria that cause plaque. In a research project done at the U of S by other researchers at the College of Dentistry, the titanium dioxide core toothbrush seemed to reduce dental plaque significantly more than a standard toothbrush, but that study did not include solar power. The new study will bring the earlier toothbrush a technological notch higher by introducing a solar panel to the end of the brush.

Dr. Uswak says the basic premise behind the technology is that solar power creates an electrical charge, and when in comes in contact with saliva, a wet medium, it releases electrons; those electrons act at disrupting the cell wall of the bacteria, which kills the bacteria. The chemical reaction also disrupts organic acids in the mouth.
Uswak says regular brushing scrapes away the plaque, and the use of toothpaste is primarily to deliver fluoride, which keeps teeth healthy. He says they wanted to develop a product that would kill plaque without the use of toothpaste.

The SOLADEY-J3X toothbrush, which looks like an ordinary brush with bristles, differs only in the way that it uses light energy to produce a chemical reaction in the mouth. Uswak says the power from the solar panel proved more effective at killing and disrupting the bacteria than the chemical reaction that occurred just with a titanium rod brush.

“The basic science shows there is validity to the use of solar semi-conductors in destroying plaque,” he says.

The technology targets only the cell walls of the bacteria, says Uswak, so harmful effects are unlikely. Further studies will investigate whether drawbacks do exist.

The U of S scientists presented their research at the FDI World Dental Federation’s annual conference in Dubai last month. Their poster describing their research won first place out of 170 entries in the poster competition.

Uswak says the next step is proving whether the technology is useful on human patients, ensuring the basic science is transferable to informal situations. Current tests on the SOLADEY-J3X toothbrush will determine the relative benefits of the new technology on real subjects.

The trial period involves two groups of 60 teenagers who will brush for four weeks using the SOLADEY-J3X, four weeks with their regular toothbrush, and four weeks with a placebo brush. The researchers will measure the amount of plaque build-up, as well as bleeding and inflammation around six pre-selected teeth.

If the tests prove successful, the new toothbrush could be out slightly more than a year from the trial’s completion, although Uswak suspects a larger study would be required before the company could market the product in Canada.

“It may find a niche market, I don’t know whether it will take on widespread acceptance by patients,” he says. “The Japanese market may be completely different from the North American market.”

Suppliers are already selling older solar panel Soladey models in Europe, Japan, and the US. According to Uswak, the tests at the U of S are funded by the Japanese company because the company wanted tests undertaken by North American researchers.

The solar toothbrush comes 50 years since the first electric toothbrush was invented in Switzerland, and only 70 years after the majority of people in Europe and North America began brushing their teeth after soldiers brought the habit home after World War II.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Letter to the Sanitorium Headmaster by: Crude la Glutton

Don't even think about taking my rum balls away from me.

I'm aware this is rehab, but you can't fool me into thinking I'll be better off without succulent chocolates full of liqueur. Some say I'm a chocoholic; some say I'm an alcoholic. I say, who cares when you have both in your mouth? I admit it's limited my nightlife a bit, limiting me to bars that have candy machines. I found out the hard way that keeping bonbons in my purse does not mesh with keeping it close to my sweaty dancing body. They say pop is bad when it's flat; I similarly say that gin, rum, or brandy are not themselves without a mouthful of truffles, a bazillion lemon, orange, banana candies, or a turkish delight smothered in honey.

Some say this is a recipe for diabetes. I say, this is better than diabetes. It's enjoying the sweet and pungeant in life, a combination as soothing as hairspray. My skin has become silkily transparent. It could be the beginning of a new beauty and health care fad. You nay-sayers have jinxed everything I believe in.

I know what well-being is. It's not just living to 100. It's also sitting on your divan every night filling your tummy with chocolate barrels of joy, just like all the billions of barrels of oil we use in this heaven which is life on earth.

If life is not a heaven to you, perhaps you need to be enlightened and come for dinner in what I like to call my prison cell. You may choose to call it a rehabilitation room, a hideously non-brown place with oranges and zucchini and carrots gaping at me from the ledge. You've got to be joking about the power of this place having brought me out of a sugar-induced coma. There is no way I would wake up to this. I cannot believe you. Perhaps if you let me have some more of that cherry cough medicine I'll let you spew another round of jargon. Guess what? I won't be listening. I've gained an ability to go deaf whenever I please. It's called saving the leftovers where no one can find them.

Compared to sugar, that Splenda shit is like wind power to dependable crude. Now if you don't offer me a plate of turtles with a side of scotch, I'm going to call my friend who happens to be a model and she'll tell you what you need to hear: gorging trumps starving. Isn't that enough?