Bodies are like Light Brights

I've been worried about my memory and general stupidity lately.
"Lately" may include the past three years. Episodes like the tropical
bird gouging me in the eye after I tried taking a photo with it in its
cage was one. Missing flights, another. Never fixing my bedroom light
so every time I unscrew my light by hand, I burn off some of the
feeling in my finger tips. That probably counts.

I've never been one for supplements, but I've always been curious. I mean, Viagra is a supplement. It works. Maybe there is a drug that can make me stop boiling water and leaving the house.

Like a good Gen Y-er I strolled through the supplement aisle to fix me a batch of smarty pants.

Erring on the side of safety, I chose the Children's Learning Formula.
I was hoping it would help me learn about other people's favourite
colours and keep track of how many sleeps till Christmas.

I've been downing Children's Learning Formula and B100 Complex
for a week.

Conclusions:

- Children's Learning Formula: like eating a handful of bath beads.
Friends think it makes me manic; I think it makes me happy. Possibly too much hassle for a placebo effect.

- B100 Complex: Inspired by the "Be 100% Complex," a mental disorder
characterized by the desire to be at 100% mental and physical capability at all times. Users may occasionally think of supplements downed with beer as a meal.

-The conclusion that I may have wasted $17 but at least I'll be arguing from experience now.

But no effects are better than bad effects, am I right? You will after you read this. (Credit to Dave for the link.)

Chantix is one of the more disturbing drugs. Side effects include
"sleep disturbances" which may manifest as horrible life-like dreams.

The doctor probably didn't go too in depth on that one. If he had, he
would have said, "Hey this drug will help you stop smoking. Now watch
this David Cronenberg film to learn about the side-effects."

Darkness, demons, inanimate objects coming alive, you know, typical common side effects for this line of drugs. Those things won't make you want to smoke will they?