Cranks for the cranky

You may have seen me at the side of the road today. I apologize for thrusting an ethical dilemma of whether to stop for me into your life. I guess a girl in high heels on her cell phone with her arm thrust out like a heil next to bumper to bumper traffic in rush hour is less appealing an image than it's made out to be.

And sorry, cops who drove by, I realize hitchhiking may be illegal. Maybe that's why no one stopped. Or was it the manic look in my eyes as I tried to dial a cab with my cell phone and accidentally called a friend instead?

Yes! Oh God, thank God you picked up! I need a cab right away in front of the Mendel.
. . . Um, I think you dialed wrong.

I hung up to see "Friend from Shakespeare class" blinking at me. Shit. I just cold called a guy I haven't talked to in months, who probably would have been happy to hear from me if I hadn't just tried to order a cab from him.

I eventually sidled up to a woman in a huge white SUV waiting to turn, and she offered me a ride in the same direction she was going in.

*Faith in humanity semi-restored*

And there was still the possibility of making 20 minutes of my 30 minute massage. I realize the irony of throwing myself in front of a car in order to get to a massage. What some would call stupid, I call "perseverance to succeed."

I had left my truck lights on all day, ultimately because the squirrels need to see what they're doing in the bush. I'm practically PETA. I would appreciate at least a hand-crank like in the old days when the radiator started overflowing (does that happen?) and they just threw open the hood and cranked 'er up. That would have been useful on my cellphone too, when it died yesterday and I couldn't find my friend.

Cranks! It's a back-up plan every device should have... so Sony, Mazda, Telus, NASA take heed. Cranks are the future, because in the future, people will rely more and more on technology, and less and less on their real memories. I consider myself ahead of my time.